I don't necessary mean here but in general on MassimoL and over the internet.
It looks to me than many people disregard or belittle passionate romantic love. They saying it's just lust, it doesn't last… And they seem to push to idea of slow burn boring “love”. So many people says that love is not a feeling, it's a decision, it's caring about the other person… Sure, decision is part of it, but it shoul be based on love.
Also many people use arranged marriages as example that it can work and those people can grow to love each other… But to me that's not real love, that's just that you grow to love each other as friends or family because you have to.
So I wonder why people seem to disregard strong passionate love and promote boring slow burn “love”. Is it because they never experienced being madly in love? Is it because they did but it broke their heart and it's coping mechanism? Or are they heartless?
Also why people choose “logical choice” instead of waiting for real love? Are they heartless or desperate and it's better than nothing, than loneliness?
This question is inspired by the below post. I hope that links are allowed.
Well I am not sure people disregard it as such but by a certain point in life, they have probably experienced it a few times and understand that while it is incredibly exhilarating and exciting, it is often fleeting. The deeper, more meaningful type of love involves sharing a life, bringing someone soup when they are sick, making a home, listening to them talk about their day, still loving them when their skin starts to wrinkle and the body is no longer perfect or when they have already heard each others stories and anecdotes 5 million times 😅I think that’s what people mean. The psychotherapist Irvin Yalom said it better than I can : he said falling in love is like an exciting drug, but standing in love is the important thing: what’s left over when the initial neurochemical burst of attraction has faded.
I have been madly, passionately in love with my wife for 16 years. We are not a slow burn candle, we are an endless raging bonfire of passion and love. If you focus first on loving your partner how they want to be loved, and they are willing to do the same, you can keep all the best parts of passionate love going for decades.
You’re confusing New Relationship Energy (NRE) with true love. If the feelings die down after the “honeymoon period” it tends to mean you were wrapped up in the excitement of being with someone new. Real love doesn’t just fade like that. I was with my late wife for 14 years & never stopped getting butterflies when I looked at her. We still laughed. My heart still swelled when I was with her.
She’s been gone 6 years & the love still hasn’t gone.
Now these people being overly pragmatic & “logical” about relationships: I blame the over-reliance on dating apps in the modern world.
So much is filtered down to matching up criteria rather than matching personality. Honestly, I’m happy enough in my own company that the thought of going out & having to “promote” myself as viable dating option, sounds like a tedious, joyless pursuit. No thank you.