What’s the most desperate thing you’ve done to get laid?

Drove 45 minutes right after an ice storm and almost died. Things you do when you’re young and dumb.

Does the opposite also count?
I was couchsurfing at some girl’s place in winter. She had me sleep on the floor right next to her bed and her house was really badly insulated, so I was freezing with just a thin mat and light sleeping bag.
I wasn’t really attracted to her but, lord, did her thick duvet and large double bed look inviting, so I put on my best seduction mode and it worked, I got upgraded to business…
So that’s the most desperate time I got laid for a bit of warmth.

When I had just turned 18 I went to a nightclub for the first time and wasn’t really sure how to approach a girl so I was just dancing kind of wildly for ages and eventually an older lady in her late 30’s thought I was cute or something and started dancing with me.

We went to a table to talk and she kept talking shit about her ex so I was just kind of listening and saying encouraging stuff. At some point I was getting another round of drinks and her friend gave me some sort of a warning I didn’t understand saying “not her” and I didn’t really get what she meant so I ignored it. Eventually she asked me to go back to her place and I when we got there I wasn’t really sure what would be appropriate or inappropriate so I kind of waited for her to make the first move and we ended up just sitting on the couch and kissing a bit.

I was taking it really slow and she mentioned something about that which I finally took as a hint that it was safe to move on to the next base. But when I started touching her she randomly mentioned something about meeting her family and I was like ‘oh… I thought this was a more casual thing’ (I wasn’t interested in actually dating because she was way older than me) and she was like ‘oh my god all men are the same’ and started crying and then I stayed with her the rest of the night just talking and trying to comfort her and then in the morning she showed me her enormous collection of dolphin toys and said I was really nice and then I left.

So yeah that was my first unsuccessful attempt at trying to get laid.

My friend told me I should have just lied and told her I would love to meet her family in order to get laid, and we had an argument about how unethical that would have been.

Flew from Australia to Toronto.

I tried to impress a girl by reciting the entire periodic table while dressed as a sexy chemist. It didn’t work, but hey, at least I got a good reaction from the bouncers at the club.

I tried to get with a southern Baptist girl once. Like 3 years of side hugs, pretending to enjoy bible studies and going to church twice a week, trying to impress her dad…nothing worked. Turns out she was seeing other guys on the side and didn’t give a shit about the religion stuff.

Read a story on here once about a guy who desperately wanted to lose his virginity as a teen so he looked up some female sex offenders in his area.

IIRC he just showed up at this woman’s house and it didn’t go well.

We have a saying in Greek which translates something like this in English:

“A single hair from a pussy is strong enough to drag a ship”

Most accurate explanation regarding this ever.

Used Tinder. I think online dating made me realize I need to have a certain level of trust in someone before I’m emotionally ready to have sex with them.

I got married once…

Back when Facebook was new and Facebook stalking wasn’t a thing yet, extolled my love of Russian literature in my first conversation with her. This was a total lie; I only brought it up because it was listed as one of her interests on Facebook. The plan totally worked though. 🙂

Laughed at a dude’s stand up jokes when they weren’t funny

I used to meet randoms off the internet in my late teens. I wasn’t choosy. Eventually I realised I could join an escort agency and see guys who weren’t much worse than my online randoms, and I got paid into the bargain.

Read the Twilight series. I got so much shit from my coworkers.

watched a shit ton of one piece so i had something to talk about with him.

went to church

Drove an hour both ways in a snow storm in my broken ass Ford Taurus (honestly sex was worth it)

I love that the variations are between drove 20 minutes to flew 3000 miles

When I was living in England I invited a rugby player back to my apartment for a cup of tea.

I did not own tea.

Yes it worked.

Flew 2000 miles