Questa volta abbiamo cercato: Ladies, as a single guy who is afraid to come off as creepy, what is the best way to talk to you randomly or strike up a conversation?
Ladies, as a single guy who is afraid to come off as creepy, what is the best way to talk to you randomly or strike up a conversation?
Ed ecco le risposte:
Be in an environment where socializing is expected to happen. Like parties, concerts, hobby clubs, bars, etc.
There is very little chance that someone really wants to be bothered by strangers while minding their own/daily business, like at the bus stop, in stores, reading at the park etc.
Then if you’re in situation A, it’s mostly luck if the other person feels like talking at that moment. Just …talk. To anybody and everybody like it doesn’t matter, because it shouldn’t.
Random chats can be nice. But actually noticing that some guy made me his personal VIP objective does not feel good. I’m a random stranger. Treat me like that.
But see, someone else would probably tell you the exact opposite. So it’s really just luck if you happen to talk to someone who likes the way you want to approach people.
Be a little goofy! I’ve run into plenty of guys in bars who try to act all manly and aloof and it’s so unappealing. Smile and make a casual joke about how it’s so hard to dance to this song or how cringy the couple making out right next to her is, etc etc. The best pickup line that has been used on me personally was an exchange of our favorite dad jokes 🙂
Start with small talk when it feels natural. Preferably small talk that is not directed right at her.
“That guy over there sure looks like Bob Ross.”
It’s easier to start from nothing if you aren’t putting someone on the defensive by opening with attention directly.
If small talk can segue into questions that strike up an actual conversation then you are good to go. If body language show that she wants the small talk to be over then move on.
First and very importantly, only approach women in a location and manner where they won’t see you as a threat – don’t go trying to stop girls in the street, try a pub or cafe or other public place where conversation is expected. And try to just be natural – say hi, introduce yourself, ask if you may join them. Be funny if you’re a funny guy, but don’t try to hard and don’t be gimmicky, because on one hand, it is kinda obvious and on the other, you want the girl to like you for who you are so the sooner you find out her reaction to the real you, the better, no point in having to live up to an act if everything goes well…
Do it when you’re at a social event/activity. When a random guy approaches me on the street and starts talking to me I feel like I’m under a lot of pressure.
Also, if you make it seem like that your sole reason for talking to me is because I’m a girl and you want a girlfriend, I’ll be uncomfortable. Then the entire time we’re interacting I have to worry about how you’ll feel if I reject you. Our interaction will feel fake because you want a girlfriend and I just want to socialize. Make it your goal to treat them like people you want to have fun with, and not just a potential mate.